Letting Go of Past Beliefs: Learning to Trust My Inner Guidance

 

When I was little, I used to cry a lot. I could scream for hours, until the neighbors thought I was being abused. My parents separated when I was two, and I lived with my grandmother, aunties, cousins, and my sisters. Back then, whenever I cried or screamed, they would hit me to stop, saying I was most probably being possessed.

Even then, I was very sensitive to energies and emotions. I could sense the disharmony in my family. We fought and argued; some people were controlling, some pretentious….but I couldn’t name it back then.

As I grew older, I began noticing patterns in people and situations. Slowly, I realised that those who were once close to me would thrive after following my advice, sometimes unconsciously. I finally came to understand that my strong intuition and inner guidance had been helping both myself and others navigate life through many different and difficult situations.

Now, I have reached a point where I am letting go of all past beliefs and choosing a path no one will understand. I am scared and worried, but I know I have come too far to turn back. It’s time for me to guide myself on this journey.

 

Losing Myself to Love: My Journey Back to Femininity and Emotional Balance

 

Image by GLady from Pixabay

When I was with my long-term boyfriend back then, something just made me feel that he wasn’t capable of handling things or being the man who would take charge of everything. That thought made me work harder, trying to prove myself at work, hoping that I could earn more, give myself things that he couldn’t, and feel more secure. This went on for more than a decade.

After a few years, I started to question myself: do I need to live like this for the rest of my life? I had hoped that I could just be a woman who is loved and taken care of. I continued with the relationship and continued striving in my career, hoping to feel more satisfied.

I didn’t know that all of this was slowly ruining myself and my femininity. I became more unstable in my mood and more resentful. The more I held on to that thought, the worse it became. I felt more tired and depleted, and he got softer over time, almost letting me take charge of everything.

When we bought a place and needed to get furniture or other things for our home, he would casually say, “Get them later when I have money,” and I would jump in and offer to get some of them. Deep inside, I resented him for not being the man in our relationship. I didn’t know how to stay soft, patient, and trust that he could handle things without me jumping in.

Finally, after forcing myself to stay in the relationship, I decided to end things after 11 years, knowing that I just couldn’t go on anymore. I know somewhere deep inside, I was craving to be loved and taken care of as a woman. Sometimes, I would look at other women and wonder, why can they be loved and taken care of, but not me?

I didn’t realize that all I needed to do was trust and allow myself to soften and lean on someone. I didn’t know that forcing myself to fight and push in my career and everything else had led me far away from my femininity and affected my health, with red-brownish patches appearing on my skin and my hormone levels becoming imbalanced.

After all of this, I have learned that I just need to be who I really am….the one who is soft, the one who craves to be taken care of, and the one who just wants to be loved for who I truly am.

When He Goes Quiet… Don’t Forget Yourself

There’s a certain silence that can shake a woman.

Especially when the feelings were once intense, when words flowed freely, when you felt seen… and then suddenly, nothing. Days pass. A week, maybe two. No message. No call. Just you and your thoughts, spiraling.

You wonder:

Did I do something wrong?

Was it all in my head?

Is he losing interest?

And without realizing it, you begin to abandon yourself.

You stop laughing. You stop moving.

You sit with your phone, refreshing, waiting, shrinking.

You forget how you used to find joy in the small things.

The quiet cup of tea with girlfriends.

The books that used to pull you in.

The peaceful walks, the silly thoughts, the feeling of your own skin.

It’s easy to fall into this space, to think his silence means you're not worthy of love. But sometimes, a man’s retreat isn’t about you. It’s about him, his process, his fears, his confusion, or even his attempt to sort through emotions he doesn’t know how to name.

And no, this doesn’t mean it’s okay for him to vanish without a word.

But it also doesn’t mean you need to chase, explain, or wait breathless.

What if you took this pause as a sacred invitation,

to return to your own center…

to remember who you were before the story began?

Because the woman who knows how to return to herself,

with grace, with softness, without drama,

creates the space for love to return too… not from need, but from depth.

Let him come back to presence, if he chooses to.

But let you come back to you, first.

The Real Reason He Pulls Away When You Show Love

The Subtle Spiral That Changes Everything in Love

In the beginning, it felt like magic.

He pursued her...gently at first, then all in.

He showed up, made effort, expressed interest.

She felt seen, chosen, loved.

She thought, “He gives so much… maybe I should give my all too.”

And so she did.

She began to pour her love into him, with tenderness, care, and devotion. Not out of need, but as a beautiful response to being loved.

But slowly, almost imperceptibly… something shifted.

He began to retreat.

Not because he didn’t love her.

Not because she did anything wrong.

But because this is the quiet tension no one teaches us about:

A man feels most alive when he gives.

A woman shines most when she receives.

When this natural rhythm gets reversed, a subtle imbalance begins.

She feels the shift, and tries to restore the closeness, by giving even more.

She over-functions. She gives from an empty tank.

Hoping her love will pull him closer again.

He, without even realizing, begins to associate retreat with reward... her affection keeps flowing, even as he steps back.

And the dynamic deepens.

She starts to feel unseen. Unappreciated. Tired.

He feels confused....what happened to the sweet harmony they had?

But here’s the thing:

It is not wrong for a woman to give.

We are nurturing by nature.

But only when we are full, when our giving flows from a place of joy, not fear. Of abundance, not emptiness.

We are not meant to chase love.

We are meant to receive it.

To sit in our worth.

To let our radiance call forth the part of him that wants to give.

Because a man doesn’t love you more when you give more.

He loves you deeper when he feels his love makes you glow.

So let yourself be loved. Let yourself receive.

There is no shame in it.

In fact, it’s what your heart was designed for. 

💌

If clarity feels more useful than comfort right now, you can visit my Sessions & Offerings.

When Love Makes You Forget Yourself

Love shouldn’t cost you yourself

I’ve seen this pattern in many women...once they’re “taken,” something in them starts to fade.

They stop dressing up, stop tending to their body, stop hearing their own emotions.

And I used to wonder why.

Why would being loved mean you forget how to love you?

For me, it’s been the opposite.

The more I’m connected to someone, the more I take care of myself.

Not to prove anything...

But because real love deepens my devotion to my own being.

Of course, I’ve had my own slips...times when emotions pulled me off-center.

But even then, I never fully left myself. And maybe that’s the difference:

I’ve never believed love means disappearing.

Your body. Your beauty. Your emotions.

Still yours, even when someone holds your hand.

🌸

If your heart has ever whispered, "I miss me"... you're not alone.

I write these to remember too.

And if something in you stirs as you read... maybe you’re remembering as well.

💌

If clarity feels more useful than comfort right now, you can visit my Sessions & Offerings.

It Wasn’t Another Woman. It Was Her Fear.

Image by vdnhieu from Pixabay

 

When Nothing Was There… Yet

Women sense things.

Uneasy. Suspicion. Something about him feels off...or so you thought.

You don’t know why, but suddenly, your heart is alert.

You feel distant from him... even if he’s right beside you.

And before you even realize it, your mind begins searching.

“Is he hiding something?”

“Is there someone else?”

“Why is he pulling away?”

The truth is…men retreat sometimes.

Not always because of another woman.

Not even because something is wrong.

It’s how they process, recalibrate, protect their inner space.

But to a woman’s heart, it can feel like distance.

Like disconnection. Like a threat.

And so you start checking. Watching.

Feeling unsettled when he takes too long to reply.

Suspicious when he seems distracted.

Your attention turns fully toward him, and away from yourself.

You bring it up to your girlfriends.

You tell them what you’re sensing.

And of course... they agree.

They say, “Something’s off. I think you’re right.”

Now your fear feels justified.

And the obsession begins.

You go deeper into proving what can’t be proven.

You begin looking for her. Even if she never existed.

The softness you had begins to tighten.

The openness you shared becomes guarded.

And the space between you shifts.

Not because there was another woman.

But because your energy is no longer anchored in you.

You are now orbiting him.

And the more you try to hold on, the more you energetically push him…

until one day, he actually meets someone else.

You feel validated.

“I knew it,” you say.

But the truth is…maybe she didn’t exist at all in the beginning.

Maybe it was the energy...

the fear, the tension, the disconnect from yourself...

that shaped the path.

Not your fault. Not his.

Just an unconscious dance.

One that many of us never realize we’re doing.

Until we do.

💫A quiet note from my heart :

I’ve felt it too.... that sinking pull in the heart when something feels off. I’ve peeked once or twice, just to make sure… but each time, it felt worse, not better and so, I stopped. It took me a while to understand... it wasn’t about another woman. It was about the part of me that needed reassurance… from myself.

I occasionally write personal reflections for those who want to understand their patterns more clearly.

If you’re ready to see what may be keeping you stuck, click here.

I Don’t Need to Prove My Worth Through Struggle

I don't know when it started, this idea that women need to be the strong, tough ones all the time.

We’re expected to fight for our place, in society, at work, even in our own families.

But honestly, deep down, I’ve always felt that women are meant to be loved.

To be supported.

To be taken care of, not because we’re weak, but because we carry so much already.

Somehow, the world made it normal for women to always push through,

to always hold it together,

to prove we can handle everything on our own.

And while yes, we can be strong…do we always have to be?

I believe it’s okay to want softness.

To want to be held instead of holding everything.

To want safety, love, and space to just be ourselves, without needing to earn it.

Being cared for doesn’t make us less.

It allows us to be more of who we truly are.

This is what I wish more women knew.