​Is the Path Meant for You, or Are You Just Forcing It?

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What if the outcome you're chasing so hard is only holding you back?

Most of us were told as kids that we needed to set goals and reach them to be successful. We believe that setting goals and having ambitions is normal because we do it so often. While it’s not entirely wrong, doing so may help us improve or achieve what we want, but it’s not entirely right either.

We sometimes think we like what we are doing when we set a goal for ourselves. At times, the underlying reason could be social pressure or family’s expectations—seeking approval & validation from others. 

No doubt, when we have goals in our minds, we tend to work harder. What we don’t realise is that fixating on a specific outcome, thinking it’s the best, the final one, can prevent us from seeing what is actually right for us. Each time we fail, we try harder; each attempt gets more extreme, and it goes on and on.

But have you ever wondered: if you really need to try so hard, then maybe that outcome isn’t meant for you?

We have seen some people achieving their goals effortlessly. And some never do, no matter how talented they are or how hard they try. Our minds couldn’t explain why, and so we call it luck. But what if the question is as simple as "Is it meant to be"?

Sometimes we may not know what we truly want or like until the path reveals itself. And when we do not achieve the goal we set, it may not always be a bad thing. It could be a pivotal factor in discovering what’s truly right for us.

 

I occasionally write personal reflections for those who want to understand their patterns more clearly.

If you’re ready to see what may be keeping you stuck, click here.

First Date Tips: Stop Trying So Hard to Impress Her

Image by aliceabc0 from Pixabay

 

You’re Looking for a Partner, Not a Job Interview

Maybe it’s your first date or even a blind date; there are a few non-negotiable basics. Remember, you’re meeting your potential lifetime partner. Sometimes all you need is some sincerity.

1. The place you choose. 
It doesn’t need to be extremely fancy, but it must be decent and convenient. If you know what type of food she likes, that’s even better.

 

2. Be on time
Be on time or be early. You don’t want her waiting alone feeling awkward. It could ruin her mood before you even arrive.

3. Dress like yourself 
Don’t pretend to be someone else. Dress comfortably. You would want her to accept the real you if things go well.

 

4. Offer to pick her up.
It’s alright if she insists on going by herself. Other than being a gentleman, it’s good to know if you’re comfortable travelling to her place regularly, if the date goes well.

The first impression is indeed very important. Many people think that putting on an over-prepared, everything-is-perfect kind of impression can increase the success rate. What people may not realise is you’re looking for someone who can spend the rest of your life with you, not a job interview.

 

Now, let’s get into the real tips.

 

1. Don’t try to be funny
If that’s truly who you are, it’s fine. If she likes it, great. Even if it doesn’t go well, at least you’re being yourself. However, if you’re only trying to impress her, refrain from doing so. It turns women off most of the time.

 

2. Pay attention to her 
Ask her what she wants to eat and order for her. See if she’s comfortable. Take care of her. If she talks, listen to her attentively. Show interest in her if you genuinely are. Ask questions and let her continue.

 

3. Do not talk too much
If you’re a quiet person, showing interest in her would help. Otherwise, do not overshare about yourself thinking that will impress her, it won't. Especially don’t talk about your success, your achievements, and all. You can, briefly, if she asks. Otherwise, it could ruin your date instantly. 

 

4. Don’t pretend 
If she’s into some hobbies, don’t pretend you’re interested when you’re not. Instead, you can share yours with her if you feel like it. Otherwise, you can ask her more about her hobbies if you want to.

Of course, everyone wants their first date to be a success, but most importantly, it’s about meeting a compatible partner. Trying too hard to impress someone may end up in the wrong relationship because you started it on the wrong foot. 

 

A true connection can only happen when you’re being yourself.





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