When We Stop Hiding, We See Others More Clearly

 

Sometimes hiding our true selves can prevent us from seeing other people clearly. 

There are times when we wish there’s someone who can really give us some support, 

but we’re afraid of being hurt, rejected, or humiliated…

so we act tough and strong, 

showing that we can handle everything ourselves. 

We even reject their offer when there is any.

But when we finally choose to stay true to our desires 

and accept their offer to help, 

that’s when we can see whether they’re genuine or just being nice.

When You’re Not Sure What to Do, Stop Measuring and Start Feeling

 

When someone…especially someone close…requests something from us, our first reaction is often to measure whether their request is reasonable or doable, but we rarely pause to check with ourselves…do we actually feel like doing it? Isn’t choosing to do or not to do something…whether it’s work, tasks, or favours …supposed to come from the heart, by honouring how we truly feel about it?

When we grow up in an environment where we constantly need to prove ourselves or seek approval, over time we slowly forget that it was never about the task or the favour itself. We start bending over to please others, often out of fear…fear of losing the person, the job, the recognition of our existence… everything.

But is it worth keeping everything else, only to lose ourselves in the process?

When we need convincing, reasoning, and tons of data to support our decision, maybe it was never meant to be to begin with.

💌

If clarity feels more useful than comfort right now, you can visit my Sessions & Offerings.

Are We Attracting the Same Situations Again and Again?

 

As we live our lives, we come across many situations related to relationships, work, people, friends, or even family which have probably made us feel betrayed, frustrated, disappointed, unappreciated, depressed, and maybe even more negative emotions that we may not be able to name.

Often, we blame others for how we feel… we look for a reason, we argue for our limitations…that we can’t feel happy unless they change…only to realise that the same experiences happen again and again, even with different people or in different situations.

We feel confused and begin to wonder… why are these happening to us every time?

When similar things keep happening repeatedly, maybe it’s a wake-up call…to accept that we could be the one attracting them, which may make us feel like a failure even when we did nothing wrong.

But the real question all along could have been…

Can we strip away our pride and accept that all the external changes we ever wished for are actually coming from within?

Maybe the change we’ve been waiting for isn’t out there after all… maybe it’s quietly beginning within us.

Maybe It’s Not the Job - Maybe It’s Our Heart Calling for Change

 

When we were younger, what made us choose the subjects we studied? What made us choose our career paths? Maybe it was the potential income. Maybe it was the success we saw in others. Maybe we weighed the pros and cons…

There are just too many reasons…some we may not even be able to name…but have we ever asked ourselves: how do we really want to feel while doing them?

Did the job we chose bring us satisfaction and happiness?

Have we ever faked a sick leave because we were too tired or fed up with what we were doing?

Have we ever wished we could skip work altogether, without worrying about the consequences?

We feel reluctant.

We may realise we’ve been doing the same thing repeatedly and start wondering if it’s because of the company, the people we work with, the pay, or even the industry.

But maybe there’s something even more important that we’ve overlooked all along…our true feelings.

If we’re doing something our heart truly desires, wouldn’t it feel satisfying and fulfilling? Wouldn’t it feel uplifting and rewarding? Wouldn’t it feel as natural as breathing?

When doubt arises, maybe it’s time to pause and listen to what our heart is whispering to us.

💌

If clarity feels more useful than comfort right now, you can visit my Sessions & Offerings.

When Cringe Becomes Growth

There are times when we cringe whenever we think about the things we did or said in the past…the way we wanted to prove ourselves better than others. We feel uncomfortable, wanting to forget what happened, or even dig a hole and bury ourselves in it altogether.

Sometimes, memories like these are simply showing us that we weren’t being our true selves at that time. Cringe can be a sign of growth…maybe even a reminder of how we had neglected ourselves back then.

Given the same situation, how would we handle it now?

How did we feel back then?

Would we behave the same way again?

Are we choosing to express… or to perform?

We often try to avoid these feelings by forgetting the past, but when they keep coming back, maybe it’s time to begin accepting them…because isn’t that what makes us who we are today?

Learning to Honour Yourself in the Workplace

As employees, we often try so hard to prove our worth. We perform, we tolerate, we meet impossible expectations…because that’s what we were taught to do growing up. People around us call it responsibility, and so we keep going.

But slowly, we begin to crave recognition…to be seen, promoted, appreciated. 

We start depending on external validation to feel confident, to feel worthy.

When we’re mistreated or underappreciated, we convince ourselves to do even more…to prove ourselves again…or we accept it when promises made at the beginning are quietly broken.

Only to realise, over time, that our boundaries keep getting crossed… not because others can’t see us, but because we can’t fully see ourselves.

Forcing ourselves to meet everyone else’s expectations only pulls us further away from the path meant for us…until we forget who we truly are inside.

Can we honour our true feelings, even if it means risking our jobs?

Can we speak up when things feel impossible, even if others might see us as lazy or incapable?

Can we follow our own rhythm instead of denying ourselves when we’re given tasks that feel out of sync with us…just because that’s what people call responsibility?

And most of all…

Can we truly believe that if an opportunity is meant for us, there’s no need to prove, chase, or compete?

💌

If clarity feels more useful than comfort right now, you can visit my Sessions & Offerings.

When Letting Go Becomes the Only Way Forward

 

When we’re faced with challenges and hardships in life or in relationships, it’s normal for us to want to negotiate or cling to familiarity. We start listing out every single detail, trying to crack the code, trace back what went wrong…hoping we could fix it or control the outcome…but end up with more confusion and disappointment instead.

Uncertainty is frightening, we must admit that. When things around us don’t look promising…our partner isn’t responding the way we wish, opportunities seem to disappear, every path feels blocked. 

The things that once gave us comfort and security no longer exist. 

We tremble, we fear, we worry… and try to go back to what we thought would work before…but it doesn’t.

Letting go of control and fully trusting in faith is never easy, 

but it’s the universe’s way of telling us…it’s the only way forward.

Can we allow the paths that are meant for us to reveal themselves naturally instead of chasing them?

Can we feel secure even without any evidence yet?
Can we trust that all we’ve ever wished for will come to us effortlessly, in its own time?

💌

If clarity feels more useful than comfort right now, you can visit my Sessions & Offerings.

Why Men Change After Getting Together - and What Women Can Do Differently

 

I’ve heard many women wonder why men behave so differently before and after getting together. But there’s something we often overlook…our own behaviour.

Before being in a relationship, our focus is naturally on ourselves…our interests, our routines, our emotions. Yet once the relationship begins, that focus quietly shifts from us to them. 

We start forgetting our girlfriends, our hobbies, our precious ‘me’ time….we forget ourselves.

When we stop tuning into our own feelings, we slowly lose our sense of self. And over time, people stop noticing us too…even the one we gave everything to. 

Suddenly, their behaviour feels confusing: they care less, make less effort, no more dates, they turn distant, sometimes even emotionally unavailable, or shift their focus to other women altogether.

Many women believe that the more we give, the more love we’ll receive. 

But almost every time, it turns out the opposite.

If we wish to be loved and appreciated the way our heart desires, we must begin by giving that love to ourselves first. When we do, everything we once longed for starts to unfold…softly, and effortlessly.

💌

If this speaks to your heart, maybe it’s time to turn that same love you’ve been giving to others back toward yourself. You can visit my Sessions & Offerings page…a gentle space for soulful letter exchanges and quiet chats, created to help you reconnect with your own calm, clarity,and worth. 🤍